✧ Ahnara’s Comedy Lounge
Because sometimes Spirt just needs a laugh.
⋆𓂃𓆸𓂃⋆
Welcome to Ahnara’s Comedy Lounge —
where light meets laughter, halos hang on coat racks, and ascended masters occasionally forget what dimension they're in.
This is a soul space for play, parody, and spiritual stand-up. Because let’s face it... enlightenment’s more fun when you’re laughing through it. 😇✨
Enter the Lounge. The cosmic mic is on.
Zoom Transmissions
💻 Welcome to Zoom Transmissions
The sacred digital den of glitchy guides, pixelated prophets, and angelic audio delays.
Paramahansa Logs Into Zoom
Host: Paramahansa, we can't see you. Can you turn your camera on?
Paramahansa: I have transcended the need for visual form.
Host: Okay... can you at least unmute?
Paramahansa: My silence speaks louder than your words.
Host: ...Fair.
(A radiant golden light appears on screen. Everyone forgets their questions and cries peacefully.)
✨ Ascended LOLs: Cosmic Cameos from the Other Side of the Veil
🎭 [Spotlight dims. Soft harp glissando. Paramahansa slowly floats into view, hands folded in serenity.]
✨ “Paramahansa Tries Guided Meditation”
*“Welcome to your guided meditation,” the app said.
'Close your eyes.
Breathe in... Breathe out...
Imagine yourself on a peaceful cloud...'*
Paramahansa opened one eye and sighed.
“I am the cloud.”
(He deleted the app and returned to stillness.)
🌟 “Archangel Michael Hosts a Podcast”
“Welcome back to Sword & Light — the podcast where we cut through illusions and call in clarity.”
Today’s guest: Mercury retrograde.
It didn’t show up. Again.
Michael sighed, polished his armor, and moved on to the next episode: “Protecting Your Peace with Boundary Bubble Shields.”
🎩 “Saint Germain Buys a Crystal”
Cashier: “Would you like to cleanse it when you get home?”
Saint Germain: “Darling, I am the cleanser.”
🌙 “Metatron Tries Minimalism”
Cleaned out his energy grid.
Deleted 44,000 redundant timelines.
Kept only a singing bowl and one perfectly symmetrical triangle.He now lives in a studio apartment made entirely of lightcodes.
📜 Comedy Scroll: Zoom with the Ascended Masters
Ahnara’s Comedy Lounge | Lightbody Laughter Series
Scene: You receive a surprise invite for a “Lightbody Alignment Check-in” on Zoom.
You click the link.
*🎥 [Zoom opens.]
Saint Germain is already on screen, wearing a deep violet blazer with stars on the lapels.
SG:
“Ahnara, darling! You’re muted. No, not energetically — just… click the button.”
Kuthumi appears late, holding a mug that says “This incarnation better have snacks.”
Kuthumi:
“Sorry, I was… breathing. Got stuck between dimensions. Again.”
Adamus joins. No camera. Mic on. Ambient wind noises.
“I’m here. I’m everywhere. Also—if anyone can mute Enki, that’d be great.”
Chat box:
Metatron: ✨ Blessings received.
Archangel Michael: 🗡️ Do not be afraid.
You: “Do we need to take notes?”
SG: “Darling, these ARE the notes.”
SG clicks “Share Screen.”
It’s a slideshow titled: "Your Lightbody and You: An Illustrated Guide to Quantum Casualwear."
Slide 1: “Velvet = Victory”
Slide 2: “Layers of Fabric = Layers of Awakening”
Slide 3: “Why Timeline Hopping in Pajamas is Spiritually Sound”
Kuthumi types in the chat:
“Can someone send me the Zoom recording? I ascended halfway through Slide 2.”
SG closes the meeting with flair:
“Remember: you are that you are.
But also… keep your camera angled slightly upward. Divine lighting, darling.”
✨ Part of Ahnara’s Comedy Lounge
Lightbody Laughter Series
✨ Search Whispers: ascended master comedy, spiritual Zoom meeting, saint germain jokes, metaphysical humor, lightbody laughter, kutumi tea, funny spiritual scrolls
💻✨ Zoom Transmission: Mira Interviews a Breath Facilitator Who Channels a Parsnip ✨🐾
A transcript from the cosmic edge of coherence
Mira: Thank you for joining me. Can you state your name, or your current vibrational shape?
Facilitator: I go by Breath-Onyx. My shape is currently an elongated spiral with light-crusted edges.
Mira: …Great. So, tell me about your retreat.
Breath-Onyx: It’s called “Sigh Until You Dissolve™.” We encourage participants to tone their inner soup and exhale ancestral debt through nasal humming.
Mira: Are there snacks?
Breath-Onyx: Only soul snacks. Yesterday someone forgave a shadow from 1992 and immediately lost their taste for almonds.
Mira: That sounds unfortunate. Let’s talk about breathwork safety.
Breath-Onyx: Of course. Our sessions include a bowl of water for emotional reflections and a parachute in case the frequency gets too high.
Mira: …Do the participants know that?
Breath-Onyx: They intuit it.
Mira: Final question: What would you say is the main transformation attendees receive?
Breath-Onyx: Clarity. Glow. Occasional levitation.
Oh, and one of them learned to speak in full vowel-only sentences.
She now teaches dolphin diplomacy in Santa Fe.
Mira: Great. Well, thank you for joining us.
Breath-Onyx: I must return to my root vegetable. It is whispering.
🌠✨ Zoom Transmission: Mira Interviews Thalos, Who May or May Not Be a Cluster of Harmonic Particles ✨🐾
A lightly unstable connection between one dog and one… whatever Thalos is
Mira: Welcome, Thalos. For the record, are you currently in one form or still shifting?
Thalos: I am… mostly hue today. With a side of spherical ripple.
Mira: …Okay. And what system are you from again?
Thalos: Emotionally, Andromeda. Spiritually, Unscented Nebula Sector 5.
Mira: Let’s talk communication. Do you use telepathy, tone, or just beam thoughts directly into salads?
Thalos: All of the above. My preferred method is resonant blinking through dimensional mist.
I once blinked a poem into a fern.
Mira: I did that once but with a cheese puff.
Mira: What’s your message for humanity?
Thalos: Slow down. Hum often.
And if the sky feels too quiet, it’s probably listening to you.
Mira: Thank you. That was unexpectedly beautiful. Are you crying?
Thalos: No, I’m misting.
Mira: Final question. Are you here to assist Earth’s evolution or just observing from a safe glitter distance?
Thalos: I’m here. Fully present. Somewhat shimmering.
Mira: That’s enough.
🌟✨ Zoom Transmission: Mira Interviews a Pleiadian Light Rep Who Accidentally Entered a Potluck Instead of the Grid ✨🐾
A tale of confusion, casseroles, and cosmic diplomacy
Mira: Welcome! Can you state your designation?
Pleiadian Rep: Yes. I am Lumari’el, Keeper of Harmonic Restoration Codes, Third Tier Glow-Walker.
Mira: Excellent. So... I understand you were meant to anchor Light into the Western Gridpoint?
Lumari’el: Yes. I followed the coordinates: 37.24N, 115.81W, mid-frequency lift, spiral breath, casual radiance.
Mira: And where did you end up?
Lumari’el: A church basement.
Someone handed me a name tag that said “LuLu” and offered me baked beans.
Mira: What did you do?
Lumari’el: I vibrated politely. I sat next to a man named Harold.
He said my aura looked “like a mood ring with commitment issues.”
I thanked him and ate half a deviled egg.
Mira: Were you able to recalibrate?
Lumari’el: I accidentally blessed the potato salad with sixth-dimensional softness.
Several people cried.
One woman remembered a dream she had in 1987 involving a dolphin and a coupon.
Mira: What was your takeaway?
Lumari’el: Sometimes the Grid is disguised as a potluck.
Sometimes the Light gets anchored between casseroles.
Sometimes Harold is your mirror.
Mira: Would you do it again?
Lumari’el: Yes. But I’d bring my own fork.
🛸 Summary of Pleiadian Encounter:
🌠 Enlightenment shared: Accidental
🌽 Cornbread: Surprisingly sacred
💫 Light codes transmitted: Possibly via Jell-O mold
🐾 Mira’s rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ + snack stamp
🍲✨ Zoom Transmission: Mira Interviews a Pleiadian Host of “Cooking with Codes” ✨🐾
A conversation about recipes, resonance, and questionable kale techniques
Mira: Welcome, and thank you for beaming in from the LumaKitchen.
Host: My pleasure. I’m Zey’rah of the Culinary Constellation Collective.
You may know me from “Light Up Your Plate: Cooking with Codes.”
Mira: I saw that once. You made vibrational soup out of starlight and chia seeds.
Zey’rah: Ah yes. That episode was sponsored by Sirius Sparkle Salts™.
Mira: Tell me about your cooking style.
Zey’rah: I don’t follow recipes. I follow frequency.
When the quinoa hums, it’s ready.
Mira: I once hummed at a cheese wheel. It rolled away slowly.
Zey’rah: Then it wasn’t emotionally available. Very wise of it.
Mira: What’s the most common cooking mistake for Earth-based Lightbeings?
Zey’rah: Forcing it.
If your soup doesn’t ascend on its own, don’t coax it with affirmations.
Sometimes it’s just soup.
Mira: Any tips for our readers who burn things while attempting to “infuse joy”?
Zey’rah: Use herbs with neutral karma. Basil is clingy.
Also, stir with your non-dominant hand while visualizing gentle forgiveness.
Mira: I do that with crackers.
Mira: Final question.
Your thoughts on cacao as a transformational portal?
Zey’rah: I’ve used it. I’ve loved it. I’ve regretted it in white clothing.
Mira: Relatable.
🍽️ Episode Summary:
🛸 Star chef tip: Let the ingredients speak (but not over each other)
🌿 Energy-cleared lentils = underrated
🍞 Sourdough can carry Light if treated with respect
🐾 Mira’s rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ + half a glowing sweet potato